| so... |
[09 Jun 2005|12:38am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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seal--crazy |
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today i was waiting for sarah to pick me up to go to the movies and my life was perfect at that moment...
the storm was at a visible sight. but didnt go over my house. as if god was shielding me. the wind was a perfect luke warm breeze which hugged your body. the lightning from far away was spontainous and beautiful. seal...was on the radio...it was bliss.
and of course...i wrote a poem...thats the way i do.
anyway at the movies. this creepy guy sat by me and sa and we thought we were gonna die. it was sooo weird and akward. i can give more details just ask...
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| see im back already...its sick. |
[06 Jun 2005|12:52am] |
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mood |
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 mess |
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how can i
i cant
i didnt know
you didnt show
cant point the blame
i feel the shame
grow up
i need to
i know
reap what i sow
its a joke
im a mess
thats what i get
holding it in
running away
running to no where
false comforts
all crash down
now i wear the frown
too late
not punctual at all
confusion
as if ive been in a haze
illusion
blinded by the fake
the risk i take
naucious
hurt
6ft
in the dirt.
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| back. |
[06 Jun 2005|12:21am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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pink floyd--us and them |
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ahh..so here i am once again. on live journal... what can i say. im passionate about writing...so there is no stopping it. my space...facebook ... and the new trends just dont seem to fit me...im not into pictures. and peoples hobbies...because in the end none of it matters. all that matter is what u think feel ect ect. so. once again. dont judge me. read to read. not to examine or over analyze. you'd be wasting your time.
graduation..this day was sereal for me. i swear i though i was dreaming...and well being that i only had 3 hours of sleep..i damn well coulda been. i didnt cry as i expected. which was good. but truely it was humerous how my father didnt even come...12 years of hard work for this day which is frankly a big show put on for your parents just to fancy the fact that their children are "the best class" and so on...but i guess i didnt realize what was happening till i saw my best friends walk at the shs graduation...then it hit me like a brick wall. mixed emotions suck..and well graduation isnt the only thing making me a bipolar mess inside. then we have the whole bob situation...i mean..i dont know what to do. i am so vaunerable...i just dont want to be hurt. i think a father leaving his daughter is enough hurt for a life time. what am i to say. i dont kno...that i still love him? that i have always loved him? that justin was just to get away from the pain. then mike was the same. one rebound after another..completely my fault. yeah i fucked up. i mean how do i say i can never deal with him sober cuz it makes me incredibly sad. and that im too much of a baby to take a risk and say hey i messed up. and most importantly that it KILLS much emphasis on the KILLS me to see him with another girl. expecially one of ur close friends.... so i guess i need to do that. he seems to always be upset with me. i dont blame him. i am basketcase. so this will have to get done soon before i go insane.
im a mess. for now. but summer is the cure to most conflicts. or at least i hope so.
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| my senior speech. |
[04 May 2005|10:22pm] |
i kno the grammer is screwy and some parts mite not read write..but just gimme feed back onthe context. at my aim Hutch411o for those of u who dont kno. thanks
“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts...” This daunting quote was created by William Shakespeare decades ago. It is rather remarkable how today in 2005 we can relate ourselves to that very quote. All the world’s a stage, it really is, not literally of course, but the world is our playing field. We can take these lives that we have been blessed with and do anything we desire. There is no limit to our goals, hopes, and dreams. Anything that we aspire is in our reach. We have been given the gift of knowledge and education, now we must venture on to the real world and apply these past 12 years of our lives to our bright futures. Most of us are only 17; 18 years into this journey we call life. There is so much the world has to offer, and it is all within our reach. It is our jobs to find what makes us happy, what we think feels like home, and grab a hold of that, and live that the rest of our lives.
All the men and women are merely players… that we are. No we are not as snoop dog would say “playas” we are players, building blocks to our society, our future, our world. We have the choice to take our endeavors and run with them. As young adults we are liable to make the choice of being a “good player” or “bad player”. As good players we can become benevolent citizens and live a morally sound life. And of course on the opposite spectrum we can be “bad players” which would lead down the path of corruption. This is one more choice to make upon millions of others which we will stumble across and we each walk down our own separate paths. Also as a player we can play many parts. Whether we want to be the President of the United States or find the cure to cancer, most of us will also play the roles of parents, as well as continue the roles of being sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and so on. We must take with us the assets we have learned from our role models, whether it be teachers, parents, coaches, consolers, or your fellow peers. Those life lessons we have learned will serve as guidance through out our lives, and it is those same life lessons that are considered as valuable as gold or your average text-book education.
Though these have been the best 3 years of most of our lives, we are not to be sad for our futures hold so much and we have a lot to move onward to. now for the most important aspect of this quote “they have there exits and entrances...” all of us were inserted into this world the same way. That is self explanatory. The twist is each and every one of us determines the way we exit. So as we depart here today and journey to the real world, ask yourself how do I want to impact this world with the time I have been granted? How do I want to be remembered after I exit? How do I want to take my final bow?
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[19 Feb 2005|08:07pm] |
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mood |
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rejuvenated |
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music |
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the verve--bittersweet sympony. |
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well hello everyone its me again...ur probably thinking ohhhhh great. now i just get to read about nico's stupid life again. but this is for me to remember things. as jj said "high school fly's by F***** fast, so u should right it down" so i am.
i just got home from up north today with jess. it was fun as always. we relaxed, eat, relaxed, eat, slept, and played ice hockey till we couldnt feel anything anymore. it was sooooooooooo nice to get away. and just do nothing, worry about, nothing. like i dont even know what day or what day of the week it is. and i dont care.
so yo to all the homies. im home so gimme a ring.
later shindigs.
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| wowww. |
[26 Jan 2005|10:07pm] |
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mood |
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 touched |
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wow...these are probably the nicest words that have ever been said to me...
rainboweyez629: nicolina why are you so awesome
Hutch411O: because i look up to people like urself
rainboweyez629: no like seriously
rainboweyez629: you are one of the greatest people i know
rainboweyez629: and i just dont know how you do it all
Hutch411O: and what makes me so great
rainboweyez629: just everything, like the way you treat people and how you carry yourself and you are awesome in everything like bball and rapping and idk its just wonderful
Hutch411O: and seriously lamia. ur one of the nicest people i kno. and ur faith in god is something i truely look up to.
rainboweyez629: naww
Hutch411O: yeahhh
rainboweyez629: well i just wish i was you
Hutch411O: and i wish i was u
rainboweyez629: no you dontttt
rainboweyez629: im a messed up kid
Hutch411O: no ur not
Hutch411O: ur soo grounded its unreal
rainboweyez629: hmm how so
Hutch411O: ur soo mature. and u are soo rational.
rainboweyez629: yeah i wish lol
Hutch411O: well in my eyes u are
rainboweyez629: well thank you
it is nice to know that people actually see me that way. it makes my life seem soo much more significant.
thanks lamia.
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| haha. ok last one. promise.. this is just soo funny. |
[22 Jan 2005|08:11pm] |
You Know You're Italian When.... |
You have a nonna.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00
You know what a rice ball really tastes like.
Your car has a green red and a white bow with a horn attached on the mirror!
You know the words to Dominick the Donkey!
On Christmas Eve you eat only fish
Your favorite slow song: Ti Amo
"Fuhggettaboutit"
The Godfather is your role model
You love Nutella...anytime...
Your nonna's meat balls are the best
You always dress to impress
You always gotta have a clean pair of Fila's
You love Versace, Gucci, Prada, Armani, just cause there Italian.
Favorite movies: Godfather, Good Fellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don... and you live by them.
Guys gotta respect their women...or else...
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you by either your mother or your nonna.
Pasta, pasta, pasta everyday.
Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.
You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.
Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.
At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'11", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
At some point in your life, you were a D.J
30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.
You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.
Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.
You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron.
You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.
Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.
It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.
Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."
You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary...
You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
Your grandfather had a fig tree
You've always wanted a red Ferrari
Connie Francis songs makes you cry
At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
You know all the words to "That's Amore"
You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 9 courses despite the fact that you don't eat half of it.
You ask "How much for cash?" when buying but will accept 'gifts' in exchange for cash when selling.
You are not materialistic but insist a $500 wedding present is nothing.
You think have a concrete backyard is nice.
You think having swans in a big fountain in the front yard next to the veggie patch is tasteful.
You actually believe everyone eats those sugared almonds in the bonboniere at your wedding.
You always have a friend who 'owes you a favor'.
You're proud to be Italian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Italian friends! |
SOO TRUE
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[22 Jan 2005|12:24am] |
now that i have creative writing i feel that i dont need to use this journal.
so im takin a break.
besides i think that its better if not any random person can read about my life...tha'd be good.
so unless some life-altering event happens im done.
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[21 Jan 2005|02:44pm] |
You Are a Bright Star Soul |
Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention
In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you
You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial
And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive
You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy
You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define
A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles.
Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!
Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul
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[20 Jan 2005|07:13pm] |
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mood |
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 pleased |
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music |
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franz- dark of the matinee |
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soo today was ok.. i made it through 1st-5th hour...then went home cuz i couldnt take it anymore.. but actually i didnt go home i went to my nonna's. she fed me food. i was happy. then we went to the cemetary to visit nonno. then i went to my soccer game. i got three assists. that was cool. i am slowly starting to get back to the point i was 2 years ago. i love soccer. it makes me happy. as for tommarow i work 4-8 that sucks. jess is going up north for the weekend...that sucks 10 times more. but thats enough for today.
later shindigs.
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